Words Women Use
by midnightwriter1898
Summary: A guy dictionary of what women mean when they say things like 'fine', 'that's okay', and, the most dangerous one, 'whatever'. Two-shot, random.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: More randomness! This is based off the email "Words Women Use", which I absolutely LOVE!! It's really awesome :D Anyway, there's not _really _a pairing, but it's just Naitlyn. Not really any romance, mostly just humor. Enjoy, and plz review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Rock, Caitlyn, Nate, or 'Words Women Use'.**

* * *

Caitlyn... well, what can I say, sometimes I think she speaks a different language. Like for example, when she says fine, believe me... it's not.

_"I can't believe you just said that!" Caitlyn shouted at me, her eyes shooting fire at me as she threw her hands up in the air in frustration. _

_"Me?" I replied, annoyed and partly astonished. "What about what you're saying?!" Caitlyn shot me a surprised look. _

_"Ha, keep on dreamin'." She spat, glowering at me. _

_"But you know I'm right!" I protested, and she raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms. _

_"Fine." She said briefly, turning her back on me and walking away. That was the first time I'd learned that when she said 'fine', it was a lie. It was just her way of saying, 'I'm right, and you need to shut your pretty mouth up'. _

Yeah, good times, huh? Not really. Oh yeah, and when she says 'five minutes'... ha, that's a joke, too.

_"Come on, honey, we need to leave now, we're going to be late!" I shouted towards the bathroom, where she was busy getting ready. _

_"Mhhmmm, I'll be right there." She replied distractedly, "Five more minutes." _

_An half an hour later, she was still there. _

_"Only five more minutes!" She'd yelled again, and I sighed. Five more minutes, or two more hours? _

Five more minutes only actually meant five minutes when I was watching TV, and her show was coming on.

_"Hey Nate, I get the TV in five minutes," Caitlyn yelled from the kitchen, and I'd chuckled under my breath. Sure, I'd all ready learned what 'five minutes' meant. I'd have the TV to myself for at least another forty-five minutes. I relaxed, sinking back against the couch, putting my feet up onto the coffee table. "Okay, it's been five minutes." Caitlyn said, coming into the living room and taking the remote from my hands. I looked up, staring at her in surprise. "Feet off my coffee table!" She commanded, and I quickly removed my feet and placed them on the floor. _

_"But honey, I thought when you said five minutes..." She cut me off with a laugh. _

_"That's only when I'm getting dressed, silly." She smirked, switching the channel. _

Oh, and when Caitlyn said, 'nothing', I knew that it meant 'something', and that I needed to be on my toes and tread _very_ cautiously.

_"What's wrong, honey?" I asked, seeing an upset look on Caitlyn's face. Now I know I should have just stayed far away and let her calm down.  
_

_"Nothing." She replied shortly, turning away from me. I moved closer to her, wrapping my arms around her. That's when she elbowed me, right in the ribs. "Leave me alone!" She yelled, leaving me stunned. "Why are you always so worried? Just leave me alone!" _

I'd learned later on she wasn't really mad at _me_, she'd just had a stressful day and I'd gotten right in the line of fire. I'd learned that when she said 'nothing', to just back away and drop it. Oh, and 'that's okay'... that was one of the most scary, horrible, dangerous, nerve-wracking statements she could make.

_"I'm really sorry, Caity." I apologized, giving her an apologetic smile, hoping she wouldn't be too mad. I really had tried hard to make it, but I hadn't been able to escape the mob of crazy, insane fans. And it was our anniversary. I hoped she wouldn't kill me in my sleep or anything. She glanced at me, giving me a brief smile. _

_"That's okay." Was all she'd said, and I'd breathed a sigh of relief. _It's okay_, thank goodness! I went to bed with a smile on my face. Now I guess I should have known better. _

_A week later, I'd woken up and all my skinny jeans had been shredded and she'd taken my expensive guitar and cut up the strings. _

Be warned: if your girlfriend ever says, 'that's okay', run for the hills. Don't think it's a good thing... just run.

And if she gave you loud sigh, it means she thinks your an idiot.

_"Well, see, technically..." I'd began, and Caitlyn had raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms and listening to my technical analysis. When I'd finished, she bit her lip, buried her head in her face, and gave a loud sigh. _

_"Idiot." She'd mumbled under her breath._

Sometimes, she'd thank me. After all these horrible, dangerous statements she'd used, I didn't know how to react or what to expect. When she'd said that the first time, I'd actually fainted. Which now that I come to think of it, wasn't that good of an idea.

_"Ahh! You remembered!" Caitlyn shrieked, throwing her arms around me and hugging me happily, the joy evident in her eyes. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I froze, staring at her in shock. Before I knew it, my world had gone black, and Caitlyn was shouting, shaking me... _

Heh... kind of a little embarrassing. It was just not what I'd been expecting at all. I was more used to words like, 'whatever'. Which is a woman's way of saying that's she's getting ready to bury your body.

_"Let me explain!" I begged, ready to drop onto my hands and knees, if it made her listen to me. She glanced at me, shaking her head. _

_"Whatever." She'd snapped, and I'd frowned. _

_"No, it's not a whatever!" I'd argued, "I can fix this, I really can!" Caitlyn turned to me, smiling. _

_"Do you have any idea what 'whatever' means? It means, go to heck!" She screamed, slamming the door in my face. _

So, for all you men out there, hopefully my close encounters will help you out somewhat, and you won't have to learn the hard way, like I did. Because, it's rather scary when a woman uses those words, so take my advice, always say things like, "yes ma'am" or "no, ma'am", just to be on the safe side. It's much safer that way. You'll live longer.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N; Well oringally this was going to be a one-shot, but I realized I had forgotten a few 'words' in the fic, so I had to finish it up. Sorry if this one isn't as good as the first one :D Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Yup, I don't own Camp Rock... or... anything.**

* * *

_So_... yeah, that's one I rarely - I repeat, _rarely_ - use. I think in the whole ten years I've known her, she's only said it maybe once or twice. I remembered the first time she'd said it, I thought 'so' meant that she couldn't come up with a good comeback, and I won. That is _so_ not the case.

_"You're sooo wrong!" I stuck out my tongue. "You _can _erase miles from the car!" Now, I realize I must have sounded to stupid. Sure, I was immature, but who cared? We were best friends, I could tease her all I wanted. Caitlyn raised her eyebrows at me, biting her lips while crossing her arms. _

_"So?" She hissed, after a pause. I stopped, surprised. Had I finally beat her at something? Was it really true?? "One time, big deal. At least I'm not making wrong statements at least ten times a day!" She paused. "Oh, and Nate, if you even try to erase the miles, you'll end up in jail. It's illegal, just for your information." She smirked, and I frowned. She'd beaten me, again._

And when she told me to 'go ahead'... she didn't really mean it. I originally thought that she was giving me permission to 'go ahead', but later I realized it was only a dare. Which was pretty scary. I remembered that whole 'incident' clear as day.

_"Hey, Cait, do you mind if I go over to Shane's tonight? We're all going to watch the race." I'd asked. So, I was supposed to help her with some of the house cleaning; I could do it any other day. Caitlyn paused, frowning.  
_

_"But we were going to get some of the chores done..." She said slowly, and I nodded. _

_"I know, Cait, but I really would like to go. I'll help you tomorrow, or something." I insisted. She hesitated, and then released a sigh, nodding. _

_"Go ahead." She nodded again, and I pumped my fist in the air. Yes! She'd let me off the hook! Well, I believed that, until I got home later._

_I quietly shut my car door, moving up the stairs and flipping through my key chain for my house key. I frowned as I completed the circle another time. My key was no where to be found. Well, at least, it definitely wasn't on my key ring. With a frown, I moved closer to the door and knocked lightly. Sure enough, I saw a light flip on, and Caitlyn's face appeared at the window. I felt guilty at the fact I'd woken her up, but she only yawned and then frowned at me. _

_"What's wrong?" She asked, her voice muffled by the glass. _

_"I don't have my house key; I'm locked out." I told her, and she yawned again._

_  
"Just remember, Nate, next time, if a woman tells you to 'go ahead', it's only a dare. And once you actually do, oh well. Too bad for you, it seems. Oops." She giggled, shutting the blinds. The light clicked off a few seconds later, and she left me to freeze outside for the whole night._

I shuddered at the very unpleasant memories. But that was hardly the end of it.

_"And so, that's why, in the end, it all comes down to me winning!" I clapped my hands together, grinning. I'd just beaten her at Sorry. She raised her eyebrows, chuckling. _

_"You are such a sore loser, and an even worse winner." She complained, shaking her head so that her curly hair fell into her eyes. _

_"I am not!" I denied, indignant. _

_"Sure." She giggled again, and I smiled. _Sure_, she'd admitted I was right. Yes! Seeing my triumphant expression, she rolled her eyes and walked away. "Hey, Nate," She called, over her shoulder, "Get a girl dictionary some day, it'll really help you." I frowned. "While you're at it, go look up 'sure' for me, will you?" She laughed harder, clutching at her stomach as she left the room. _

That was when I'd learned that 'sure' meant she was bored with the whole conversation/argument, and she was right, and she was just being sardonic. 'Sure' meant she didn't believe a word you'd just said and you were wasting your breath trying to argue, because she knew you were wrong/lying. Either way, it's not what it sounds like.

_"Hey, Cait, that looks pretty heavy. Want me to help you with that?" I asked, seeing her struggling with a heavy box. She paused, panting. _

_"Naw, don't worry about it, I got it." She half-growled, looking annoyed as she rolled her eyes, continuing. I frowned. _

_"What's wrong, honey?" I'd asked. Later I would learn, she'd been asking me to put the box up in the attic for at least a week now, and she'd finally given up and done it herself. _

_"Nothing." She growled. Oh no. Yup, she used the 'N' word. I'm now officially doomed. I'd better go dig my grave right now._

And when it came to jokes, yes, a woman will always win. She will wait, and watch, and listen, until the timing is _just_ right, and then leave you all stunned. Guys, sure, they joke around all the time, but in the end, their no match for a woman.

_"Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?" Shane asked, smirking. I frowned, unsure of the answer. "To hide the M&M's bag!" Shane burst out. I rolled my eyes. M&M's bags were _yellow_. Caitlyn was leaning back, watching us tell our stupid jokes. _

_"Yeah, well when I was born," I began, "My doctor slapped my mom for having me." Yeah, stupid, I know. I was lame._

_"He should have slapped her harder." The whole room fell silent, and I turned to face Caitlyn with an stunned expression. She raised her eyebrows, glancing around at our stupefied faces. Yeah, she beat us, fair and square. _

So, what have we learned from these little occurrences? Never underestimate a woman. To do so would be to risk your personal health, or maybe even your life. And never, ever think a woman's going to let you win. Believe me, they will always think of something, or outsmart you, so you don't even stand a chance. Just give up now, for the sake of your life. Like I mentioned earlier, it's good, unless you have a death wish or something like that. Just don't say I didn't warn you.


End file.
